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Define Yourself

I made the errant decision to take one of those Facebook quizzes. If you visit FB, you know what I mean. "What decade do you belong in?" "What is your best name?" "What state should you live in?" These are all ridiculous questions, of course.

Obviously, what decade I belong in holds very little significance when I'm living, well... NOW.

But answering the questions made me think about the way we define ourselves. The questions were as trivial as my favorite beverage and as meaningful as how I would spend my final hours of life. No pressure.

But am I really defined by my favorite drink or the way I spend money or my preference of music? Well, probably. Some are more revealing than others, but I cannot extricate myself from these things that when combined and churned through the years of my life make me who I am.

And here I am, a mom, with the life of my children in my hands. Who do I want them to be? How do I want them to spend their time? What do I want them to value? If I don't think about it now, one day they will be all grown up and I'll wish I had done things differently. Maybe I'll wish that what defines me does not define them.

So what can I do... what can you do? How do we not only want to define ourselves, but how do we want our children to define themselves? These are both very important questions, because as mothers the things we do and say are not only a direct reflection of our own heart - but they are exactly the traits we will be passing along.

I have heard other mother's say things like, "I wanted to be exactly like my mom because she was so wonderful." Others might say, "My mom was everything I never want to be." But my guess is that most of us would say a version of, "My mom tried hard to do a good job. There are things I definitely want to carry on and other things that I am going to try very hard not to be."

So how would you define yourself? Maybe take some time today and write a list of the qualities - good and bad - that you would use to describe who you are. What do you love to do? How do you spend your time? Evaluate. Are these the things that you really want to define who you are?

Here's an example: I used to LOVE to shop. I would take my daughter from the time she was born and go shopping for hours at a time. I spent too much money and this took away time from doing other things with her. I soon realized that I didn't want my daughter to grow up thinking that shopping is for recreation. So I made a conscious decision that I wasn't just going to go shopping for "fun."

You may find things are your list that get double or triple stars for things that you want to define you and you may discover that there are some negative or detrimental habits that you want to change.

Bottom line - I'm not a life coach. I'm just a mom who thinks and writes about it. If you try this, share your results here because that's how we learn... from eachother.

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